New Perspectives

So here we are, embarking into a new year. New year, time for looking ahead, time for looking back. I've been reflecting about ministry; mine in general-how things have changed, how things have stayed the same- and ministry in specific, at the church I'm at now. In some ways it seems I've been doing this a long time, and in some ways, it seems like it's only been a very short while.
And have things changed. I remember when I first started Seminary (back in '95) I expected I would wear the black outfit and clergy collar every day. I expected I would be leading worship services every day, that I'd be praying the "offices" at least a few times a day. But things changed. I remember sometime during my last semester at seminary, my church's (ELCA) publishing house (Augsburg) came by to sell some of it's wares to us poor students. They gave each of us a $50 gift certificate to help in spending money on them. So, being the cheap-skate that I am, I bought something for $48.95. I had picked out a rainbow colored stole made in Guatemala or Honduras, I can't remember now. I was standing in line waiting to pay... actually to get some money back from them... when one of my class-mates saw what I had and said "That's you!". WHAT!?!
I wasn't sure exactly why I had picked out the stole for purchase, aside from the fact that it was less than $50. But that stole was a symbol of my potential ministry. That stole became a symbol of what I would be about in ministry.
For all you arm-chair psychologists out there who are right now asking the question: What does it mean to you? I'll tell you... to me it represents a religion, a church, a community that is in the life of the people, that is where the people are, that is from the earth. I must tell you I do not have any problems with people who enjoy their High Church, or any problems with High Church stuff in general... but that's just not where I am.
The stole represents a place where people can be themselves, where it's not a bad thing for kids to make noise in church (those are signs of life!), where people can lift their hands in prayer, where they can feel free to pray.... out loud even. Where ministry and mission are very connected. Where the Spirit and the people are very connected.
This perspective was emerging in me long before the end of seminary. Between my first and second year of Seminary (there were 4), all of us students (not just Lutherans, but Episcopalians, Methodists, Presyterians, and other denominations that require their seminarians to take part in this national program) had to do ministry in a clinical setting. This is a summer where you get a chance to dive headlong into this thing called ministry, all the while under the supervision of clinically trained chaplains to help you navigate the inner feelings that ministry brings up in you and others. At least that is the presupposition. After the summer was over, the stories some of my classmates told me, I would have guessed it as more of a 10 week blood-letting rather than a place to really engage in psychological and Spiritual growth.
My experience was wonderful! I still remember it fondly. It was 12 weeks of very intense spiritual direction and growth. Close to the end of my 12 weeks there, I was noticing "the change". I was using By the end of my I began to notice that the words I was using by that point were words I wasn't really using until them, and didn't expect to even use. We had a lot of writing to do; reflective, biographical, analytical, etc. And I found instead of using that I had expected to use, like "Liturgy" and "Congregation", I was using words like "Spirit", and "Sacred", and "Community". And some words I used, I found I was using in different ways. "Sacrament" became as much a state of being, a way of seeing life, as much as a thing witnessed in church. If you are able to experience a moment of Grace, of Forgiveness, where yo know to your deepest being that you are loved, or forgiven... that's Sacramental.

Hate to leave this at a cliff-hanger, but I have to leave this now and pick up a little later... and I will. Part Deux to come!