Sermon for Jeff Swope's Memorial Service

Jeff Swope, a pillar of our congregation, died after a long struggle with cancer at still a relatively young age-66. His memorial service, this past Friday, was such a moving tribute to not only his life, but how he impacted others. His death is still fresh in all our hearts and minds; we still expect him to come walking through the doors, or see him here at church somewhere as we did before.

Some words I said at his memorial service.

Preached at Jeff Swope’s Memorial Service – June 24^th, 2011 – First Lutheran Church, Ellicott City

On the last visit with Jeff where we were able to share for some length of time, Friday the 10^th, we talked about a lot of things;

From practical stuff- the memorial service, which cemetery to use to spiritual stuff- about God, and life beyond, etc. but we also talked about life!

I said I’ve been with a number of people at and or around the time of their deaths and I’ve always seen grace! I’ve always seen grace present!

I put some pieces together with Jeff that day evening! Why do we baptize babies in our traditions? There are a number of reasons, but one of he biggies is to show that God is the first mover! Before babies have any notion of God… God is there! Before a child can call on God… God is there first! Before a child can even acknowledge the existence of God… God is there first!

We came into this world wrapped in God’s grace!

And we have nothing but Grace at the end – The quiet grace of souls transitioning to the next world – the deep mystery of a soul’s work as it leaves one world for another – the sacred grace, in spite of the pain of loss, of recognizing there really is something beyond!

And between these two brackets of grace… like 2 bookends, holding us up… we live our lives!

And his life was certainly grace-filled! That visit was bookended for me with Grace! When I entered the house, he couldn’t get up, so I went to him where he was, on the couch. He grabbed my hand with both of his, and kissed the back of my hand. Then he held my hand to his forehead. In some cultures, this is a sign of blessing! Then as it was getting closer for the time for me to go, I said- usually people expect me to say something, to say some prayer, to speak some words of meaning – of God – of some meaning in that way. But I had to say… sometimes I can’t find the words. Sometimes they escape me. And I didn’t know what to say.

It’s at times like these, I said, I feel like I have to honor the silence – to acknowledge the Spirit in that way… in the silence… without words.

Then not long after, as I was about to leave, Jeff grabbed my hands – he apologized for not being able to get up – and he began to pray; he thanked God for my strength! I was amazed at this prayer!

As poignant as this whole visit was – and it really was bittersweet; we had a very good talk, but it would be the last time I’d talk with him in this way – it was so grace-filled! I was blessed!

This is what he did… he blessed!

Even if I weren’t clergy – even if I weren’t representing a religious tradition – I must tell you, what I’ve seen, what I’ve experienced, what I felt and heard… I have no doubt there is something more than what our five senses tell us.

I recognize I’m saying this to a group of people mourning a loss, who feel an empty place in their hearts! I have heard people say things at funerals, well intended things, sometimes insensitive things, and when they comfort you, sometimes they pat you on the back saying, “it’s okay”, when what they really mean is – Please stop crying, you’re making me anxious. But what they really way is – “you’ll get over it.” I say, don’t ever get over it!... ever! We learn to live with the hole – that empty space in our hearts that belongs to the person we love and miss.

Our faith speaks of Resurrection and New Life. I believe it! I really do. I’ve seen it!

Yet… we mourn! I can tell you Jeff lives – he does! I know it! It’s real!... but not here… anymore! That’s reality too! To be truly honest – to be truly human – we must acknowledge these two realities!

There is so much I feel I’d like to say at a time like this. I’d like to say, how in the midst of anxiety and deep sadness, I still felt such peace at their home! I was drawn to it – I remember thinking consciously that I didn’t want to leave… so I stayed and waited for the sun to rise the next morning.

But I want to say…. This life is a Sacred Mystery! A Holy Mystery! And we’re all a part of it! Jeff, and all those I’ve had the honor and privilege to be with as they travelled to the next world: my father, Michael, Sophie, Marty, Nellie, my grandmother… and many more… remind, me over and over again… there is an author of this world, and this life! An author who writes with a sacred pen in a sacred book… a sacred text!

Thank you Jeff, for reminding me and blessing me!

God bless you!