Food For The Journey

FOOD FOR THE JOURNEY

My daughter and I are so different! Not even different… almost opposite. This includes our taste in clothes and favorite colors, our personalities, obviously our tastes in music and dance. “Well, of course your tastes are different. She’s a teenaged girl, and you’re a something-something year old man.” Oh, we’re very different indeed.

When she was younger, she’d say she liked things with “flash, jazz, pizzazz!” In public I prefer to be low-key, to blend in. Granted, my job is one where I tend to be “in the spot-light”, but on my own, I prefer low-key. Her favorite colors seem to be, well, anything neon. Must be the “jazz, flash, pizzazz” thing going there. Me… not so much. Muted greens, tans, blues… you know, nothing that draws too much attention usually. Nothing too out-there. Nothing with skulls on them, no big circular ear-rings for me.

She likes to do the hip-hop moves and dances. Actually she’s a dancer and performer – she has been since she was little! She loves being on stage, and she is very good actually! She’s a born dancer I think. I used to say she was a 100 watt bulb in a 75 watt world! She’s a joy to watch! I don’t have that gift or that background, so to me for example, although I “lead” worship, it’s so NOT a performance. I cannot perform. And evidently that’s good because… according to my daughter, I cannot dance either!

She loves drama. For example… she’s into the whole “team Jacob or team Edward” thing, sort of… that may be “so yesterday” now… but some of you know what I’m talking about! And then there’s the drama in her life; friends who said this, and what did they mean about that, and I need to talk with this girl about this other thing, etc. Actually over the years this sort of drama has been steadily dying down. She doesn’t so much love drama in the sense that she can’t live without it, as much as she’s much more tolerant of drama in her life than I am. Yes I have drama in my life too, but I don’t too much care what people think of me – especially people I don’t care much about – so that kind of reduces some drama there! My tendency is to tackle issues while trying to minimize the emotional entanglements. Emotions aren’t bad! They help us in many ways for sure - heck, I even have them! But if we have the propensity of always or mostly “leading” with our emotions, then we run the risk of losing a clear-headed perspective… and that limits our perception of the possible options we may have. How’s that for a Mr. Spock answer about emotions. I have no issue with emotions! I just think they make better followers than leaders.

She can, in my opinion, fall too much prey to the suburban mystique of possessions and materialism – and the endless need to let the world know what she’s doing at all moments of the day and/or night. There’s the attraction to the latest fashion, the desire for the latest phones. Oh how often she’s got her ear plugs in, listening to her Ipod while at the same time texting someone her thoughts on what the latest actor or actress is up to. Okay, maybe I exaggerate… I can do that, I’m the Daddy. But honestly I totally don’t get the need to take time away from actual real people to tell all the friends you’ve collected what you’re doing or feeling at the moment. Yes, Facebook may indeed have some useful qualities – such as catching up with people, or sharing info on your life… but doing this hours on end??? Okay she doesn’t do this hours on end – because we don’t let her. But… then again, she is a teenaged girl, and teenaged girls (I’m painting with a very broad brush) have more tendency to text, and up-date their status, and buy lipstick and, spend hours trying on clothes at the mall… more than us something-something year old guys.

My daughter loves to watch movies… we think it fills some sort of social need; she loves talking to the screen, and/or the actors on it. Oh boy! “Don’t do that…” “Listen!” “Oh I love what she’s wearing!” “There you go, take that!” “What are you doing???” “Oh no she di’int!?!?!” well, you know what I mean. Watching movies with her, one seems torn between the desire to hear the movie and waiting to hear what she’s going to say next.

As a something-something year old guy… I DON’T GET THIS! I don’t get the drama, I don’t get allure to the mall… I “buy” more often that “shop”. I don’t get the need to tell the world what I’m thinking throughout the day… I don’t talk with my thumbs… I’m not attracted to neon bangles reflecting the latest fad (although I am envious of the guy who thought up the “pet rock” scam! What a stupid idea… put a rock in a box, and “adopt” them out – are you kidding me!?!?! “Yeah, kidding you all the way to the bank!”) Anyway, there’s a lot I don’t get about teenaged girls (daughters or not).

When I first saw her as a little girl in that orphanage, that village with no running water and no indoor pluming, in a village that many of us might think God had abandoned, she stood there, with her schoolmates, in their school uniforms. I knew there was something special about that kid. I remember being very conscious of the length of time I spent looking at her. “I better stop looking at her, or people will start talking!” But there was something about that little girl! She was a real light! Now I get that all kids are lights! But the light of your own kids seem to shine in the world just a little brighter! Well, she wasn’t my kid yet, but… she was already.

And after having more time to be with her, living with her, sharing life with her, I had more time to make more sense of my perceptions about her… and what developed was my belief that she would be a part of something very special. I recognized in her such a uniqueness… something I still struggle to put into words. Now, I’m not necessarily a psychic person that can “predict the future”, as they say. So when things come to me… few and far between… they seem to come big. So what’s come about her? She is a special kid with a special kind of light. What I’ve come to make sense of over these years is that she’ll be a part of making some kind of difference, from my sense, in a secondary manner. She wouldn’t necessarily cause the miracle… but more, she’ll somehow motivate the “miracle” to happen… she’ll help create the conditions for it to occur.

I say all this because sometimes these differences are hidden by “attitude”, or drama, or hormones, or whatever. Or hidden by my reaction to the drama or attitude or hormones, or whatever. But the thing is… she’s still that girl I saw so many years ago. Obviously there’s so much more to her story... and when I tell our portion of it, I’m again struck by the divine element in it! There really is a divine element to our story! I can’t deny it, can’t explain it, or forget it!

She really is something special!

Now there’s more people out there with more stories like this… with divine elements weaving in and out of them. They’re out there, all around us. Chances are… your story is one of them. “Oh no, not my story!” Wanna bet?!?!? Take a good look at your life! Count the blessings… the struggles, the obstacles, the challenges, the sense of God’s presence! I don’t know if I can go so far as to say there are no accidents… but I can say God can use accidents for blessings in the long run… if we’re open to them!

Look for those opportunities for letting God in. Just be open to the possibility of God being part of this mystery called life, and watch what happens!

God bless!